I have just finished my last Monkey chow meal. It is a great feeling to be over, can't wait for the pie this afternoon.
My sponsors have happily paid up, when I say happily I mean promptly but I was happy enough for all of us. I had ordered a family guy angry monkey t-shirt for the occasion but it did not come in time.
The monkey chow diet is completely useless for loosing weight. I would say if you have the will power to only eat monkey chow you probably have the will power to follow a balanced eating plan. I am not sure if the initial weight loss was due to lack of water or not eating enough but it was clearly just a blip. I think I managed to consume 11-12 pounds from the 20 pound bag. Not much under the 2 pound a day target I set myself.
Trickery.
My loss has been the gain of my colleagues to the order of:
1 tray of donuts
3 large pizzas
1 box of cinnamon swirl iced buns
I wish Ed had not given up so early, this list should have been much longer.
Advice to monkey chow dieters.
Make sure the terms of the bet allow you to soak the monkey chow in some kind of flavoured beverage. The instructions on the zupreem website recommend soaking monkey chow in fruit juice if your primate is refusing it's food so it is within the spirit of "eat what monkeys eat". I decided to use flavoured tea as we had already prohibited calorific drinks from my diet. Doing this with dry, unsoaked kibble is probably possible but would be very, very difficult. Flavour is very important as there are some subtle but very disgusting aftertastes that tend to become overpowering with nothing to distract you. I did not have any problems in the bathroom department but "angry man" did. If you do give it a go please let me know.
Donations.
I will be donating the remaining monkey chow to http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/ they train capuchin monkeys to help people with mobility problems.
Anwar will be donating $100 to the Greater Boston food bank http://www.gbfb.org
There is more which I will edit in once I have the details
A big thank you to everyone who tried to help or hinder, it all came together to make the experiment a lot of fun.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Day 7 summary
Mood - happy
Condition - sore
Stools - Still keeping that to myself
Weight - no change - cumulative total 1 pound lost
So here I am, 7 days down, 1 meal to go. I need to pay attention and not accidentally eat something else, this nearly happened last night when Val had a snack. I had the impulse to steal a chip from her plate but caught myself in time.
Condition - sore
Stools - Still keeping that to myself
Weight - no change - cumulative total 1 pound lost
So here I am, 7 days down, 1 meal to go. I need to pay attention and not accidentally eat something else, this nearly happened last night when Val had a snack. I had the impulse to steal a chip from her plate but caught myself in time.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Day 6 summary
Mood - grumpy
condition - decrepid
Stools - ...
Weight - no change - cumulative total 1 pound lost
Thw whole monkey chow thing is still going fine. With only 1 day left I am as good as done. My problem is my back. Somehow I threw it out yesterday. It felt a bit odd so I stopped working and did my stretching exercises. When I got up I could barely walk, with careful planning and a lot of wincing I made it up to bed and there I stayed. Today it is still bad but I can move.
Val assured me that if she was bringing food up to bed for me it would not be monkey chow. I have to stay healthy to finish the bet...
condition - decrepid
Stools - ...
Weight - no change - cumulative total 1 pound lost
Thw whole monkey chow thing is still going fine. With only 1 day left I am as good as done. My problem is my back. Somehow I threw it out yesterday. It felt a bit odd so I stopped working and did my stretching exercises. When I got up I could barely walk, with careful planning and a lot of wincing I made it up to bed and there I stayed. Today it is still bad but I can move.
Val assured me that if she was bringing food up to bed for me it would not be monkey chow. I have to stay healthy to finish the bet...
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Day 5 summary
Mood - busy
Condition - fine
Stools - ...
Weight - 1 pound gained, cumulative total 1 pound lost.
Val and I have been doing house work all morning and I think it will be the only thing we do all weekend. I have been installing speakers in the ceiling of the basement, (I mean hiding the gaping holes in the ceiling). Val is patching all the dings in the dry wall, sanding and painting. We made a list last night of everything we need to do to get the house ready for the appraisal, surprisingly it only filled one side of letter. We stand a good chance of getting most of it done. It will be great not to have it hanging over us this summer.
On the weight gain, I decided not to work out last night so I had more energy for the physical work this weekend. I don't think this explains the gain though. There is a base level of hunger that only goes for an hour after eating. Perhaps the hunger is for variety rather than quantity. Only 2 days to go and I can find out!
Condition - fine
Stools - ...
Weight - 1 pound gained, cumulative total 1 pound lost.
Val and I have been doing house work all morning and I think it will be the only thing we do all weekend. I have been installing speakers in the ceiling of the basement, (I mean hiding the gaping holes in the ceiling). Val is patching all the dings in the dry wall, sanding and painting. We made a list last night of everything we need to do to get the house ready for the appraisal, surprisingly it only filled one side of letter. We stand a good chance of getting most of it done. It will be great not to have it hanging over us this summer.
On the weight gain, I decided not to work out last night so I had more energy for the physical work this weekend. I don't think this explains the gain though. There is a base level of hunger that only goes for an hour after eating. Perhaps the hunger is for variety rather than quantity. Only 2 days to go and I can find out!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Day 4 summary
Mood - happy
Condition - slightly hungry
Stools - No comment
Weight loss - no change - cumulative total 2 pounds lost.
Everything is going along smoothly. Hunger comes and goes, it still tastes foul. I am not getting cravings. Ed is not at work today so I think I should be safe from any significant temptations. I managed to get to bed before 12 last night after a 1 hour workout and shower. I did spoil it by reading for an hour but I find that improves my quality of sleep anyway.
I have a feeling the weekend is going to be miserable. I have developed a nice routine involving eggs, cheese and ham that is going to be a shame to miss out on. The house is being inspected on Tuesday, so I will have to spend both days finishing up odd jobs. At least it will keep my mind off the hunger.
Condition - slightly hungry
Stools - No comment
Weight loss - no change - cumulative total 2 pounds lost.
Everything is going along smoothly. Hunger comes and goes, it still tastes foul. I am not getting cravings. Ed is not at work today so I think I should be safe from any significant temptations. I managed to get to bed before 12 last night after a 1 hour workout and shower. I did spoil it by reading for an hour but I find that improves my quality of sleep anyway.
I have a feeling the weekend is going to be miserable. I have developed a nice routine involving eggs, cheese and ham that is going to be a shame to miss out on. The house is being inspected on Tuesday, so I will have to spend both days finishing up odd jobs. At least it will keep my mind off the hunger.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Showered with gifts
I came to my cube after lunch to find 3 monkeys hanging out. I think they were after my monkey chow but could not get into the container.
I also found a box of cinnamon iced rolls. The monkeys did not get into those either.
My colleagues are doing very well out of this, donuts, pizza, buns, still holding out for the caviar though.
I know what my first non-monkey chow food will be. By shear coincidence it is pi day (3/14) on Monday, so after my last contractual monkey meal I get to enjoy pies and ice cream. Happy times...
I also found a box of cinnamon iced rolls. The monkeys did not get into those either.
My colleagues are doing very well out of this, donuts, pizza, buns, still holding out for the caviar though.
I know what my first non-monkey chow food will be. By shear coincidence it is pi day (3/14) on Monday, so after my last contractual monkey meal I get to enjoy pies and ice cream. Happy times...
Day 3 summary
Mood - happy
Condition - thirsty
Stools - No comment
Weight loss - put a pound back on - cumulative total 2 pounds lost.
I am feeling great, I seem to have broken Ed's spirit. I hope it is just an act and there are more surprises in store, my colleagues must appreciate his tempting treats.
It is just great knowing that sometime today I will be half way through, I have always enjoyed the process of counting down towards a goal. I know I can eat enough monkey chow to maintain weight, it is not going to make me ill. I am no more bored than on the first day.
One piece of advice for the next idiot to try this - liquids. Drink a lot, humans are not used to exclusively dehydrated diets, once consumed the pellets need moisture and they have to take it from inside your stomach. I woke up this morning more thirsty than I can remember ever being.
Condition - thirsty
Stools - No comment
Weight loss - put a pound back on - cumulative total 2 pounds lost.
I am feeling great, I seem to have broken Ed's spirit. I hope it is just an act and there are more surprises in store, my colleagues must appreciate his tempting treats.
It is just great knowing that sometime today I will be half way through, I have always enjoyed the process of counting down towards a goal. I know I can eat enough monkey chow to maintain weight, it is not going to make me ill. I am no more bored than on the first day.
One piece of advice for the next idiot to try this - liquids. Drink a lot, humans are not used to exclusively dehydrated diets, once consumed the pellets need moisture and they have to take it from inside your stomach. I woke up this morning more thirsty than I can remember ever being.
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